Backtracking

I’ve been incredibly neglectful of my blog lately, and quite a bit has happened.  If you’ve followed me on twitter, you probably know the majority of my past few months. If you haven’t followed me on Twitter, here’s the gist:

• A kiitten fell into my lap!  No, really, it did.  A friend of mine had a litter of kittens, and needed a home, so Mike, the stray roommate we took in, said he’d take one.  When I moved, he came with, because Mike wasn’t around the apartment with Utt and Futt all that much to care for him.  Originally, his name was Gabriel (not my choice, and he isn’t that much of an angel), but I’ve since changed his name to Bolt.  He tries to bolt out doors, and is VERY quick.  Isn’t he precious?  He LOVES this laundry basket!

• June 27th – Went to see Legally Blonde, the musical, with my friend, Jennifer, who had 2 tickets, and her hubby isn’t so much of a fan of musicals, she thought to invite me.  It was hilarious, I really enjoyed it!  I had no idea musicals could be so good, or funny even.
• June 28th – Jeremy and I got into an argument, over the ratio of dirty dishes to clean dishes in the kitchen…the kitchen was ALWAYS a mess, and hardly had any clean dishes, and were lucky if we could even use the faucet, they’d be piled so high.  If they were mine, they’d been cleaned, but I didn’t cook in that kitchen much because it was always in a disarray.  Basically, I asked if the kitchen was ever going to be clean, and he said he was “fixin’ to do it”….he’s ALWAYS “fixin'” to do something, but never gets done.  He then told me he wanted me out by the end of the month, and I calmly said “no” which ticked him off, and so he called the cops telling them I was trespassing!  At this point, I’d already lived there over 2 months, and it’s not like I just snuck in the house and have lived there undetected.  I went in my room, waiting for the county sherrif to show up, and prove that I’d established residency.  He then comes in my room, yelling at me, telling me that if I’d asked nicely, maybe he’d do the dishes.  I asked him if he, at the age of 23, really needed to be told to clean up after himself.  He then proceded to grab my duffel bag of dirty clothes, and throw them out the front door.  I, of course, went running after it.  As I was picking up my clothes, I made the comment to Chris, Jeremy’s boyfriend about how he’s got a real winner, which set Jeremy off, and he then began shoving me out the door.  My buddy, James, was outside the door as well, and he and Chris told him to stop, as I’m yelling.  Jeremy stopped, then ran back to my room, and smashed my floor lamp in his rage.  I, then, feeling unsafe, called the cops, myself.  Cops came, and asked me if I wanted them to arrest him.  I felt, ONLY because he didn’t actually hit me, that it wasn’t necessary, but the officers advised I leave for the night, which I did.  Jeremy, being the liar he is, told the cops my lamp was broken from the door swinging open, which was never the case.  Jeremy tried changing the locks previously, and I asked the officers tell him not to change them on me, and they warned him.  The officers stayed until I left, which I was grateful for.  I stayed the night at my good friend, Jennifer’s house, and was grateful she took me in.
• June 29th – As if I hadn’t already had a rough weekend, it only got worst when i was pulled over by a cop, for expired tags…I passed him only because he was on his cell phone, and figured a man can’t multi-task, and pay attention to my tags at the same time!  He’s an exception, I suppose.  He got me, and decided to mark me down for 2 infractions, instead of just expired tags, which cost me an additional $12.
• June 30th – found me a new place to move, thought it would be great, living with a couple of girls, back in Bellevue, and pretty cheap.  Put down first months rent that day, needing to get away from the messy living situation I was in.  I was grateful for her taking me in.  The downside was it was only 3 months, because the one girl was getting married, and her and her husband were going to live there.  I didn’t care, just needed to feel safe.
• July 2nd – MOVING DAY!  Was SO glad to be done with the drama.  Didn’t unpack half of my stuff, knowing it was only a short term lease.  The first weekend there, I thought I was in heaven…the sink was void of any dirty dishes, AND I could hear the vacuum being used!  NEVER would’ve happened at the old place!

Why ME?

I know it seems like my roommate issues have been an ongoing theme here at Schmidt Happens, but, for some reason, I have a real gift for finding the worst roommates.  I know what you’re thinking…maybe it’s me.  It’s not.  All the issues are different.  If they were the same ones, I’d think it was me too, but I couldn’t make up the weird ones if I tried!  I really think I’m a reasonable roommate, not the best, I have my flaws, and I’ll be the first to admit it.  My roommate, on the other hand, fails to see that she has any, and is now holding me to standards that she, herself, doesn’t uphold.

And so the saga continues…

118 – Enforce an unreasonable policy

Keri (roommate) comes into my room earlier today (Sunday) and says something along the lines of “I really didn’t want to have to do this, but I tried to make it work, and it just hadn’t” and hands me a sheet of paper:

I, stupidly (shame on me), signed the note without reading the whole thing because I just wanted her out of my room.  If you caught the last line, it states “it is not to be discussed with any other person,” so apparently, I’m not allowed the freedom of speech, according to her, but you know me…I’m SO not the quiet type.

I am wondering if she is just looking for an excuse to kick me out, does she not want the rent money? Does she just not like me? I thought we were really getting along lately, and she hadn’t bitched about anything in awile.  That’s what threw me for the loop, I really can’t tell you the last time she complained about something silly, I thought she was loosening up a little.  NOPE.

My friend, Katie, advised I better start looking for a new place to live.   Like I said, I’m not the greatest roommate.  I MAY not put my groceries away immediately, and I MAY not necessarily put my dishes away at the moment the dishwasher is done, but I’m respectful of her and her things, and keep to myself a lot of the time.  There are FAR worst people out there.  And I LOVE how “the ceramic stovetop cleaner will be used by Landlord.” Can I not be trusted with that even???  I have a wicker basket on the counter in there, and now, I can’t even put what I want in my own freakin’ basket!  Am I the only one thinking this is absurd?!?!?!?!?  The bathroom is not nearly as bad as she makes it sound, I swear she makes special trips in there just to see what it looks like.  The only thing on the floor of the bathroom is my rugs and dog hair, from HER dog!  I really just want to scream.  I feel like I’ve bent over backwards trying to make her happy, even giving myself a curfew, and I’ve done really well, trying to be home by 10pm as to not wake her up.  My friend asked if I’d slipped up on curfew and that’s what started it, I said there’s no way…had that been an issue, you’d better be sure it’d be included in this screwed up “policy.” I just don’t understand why it is I have to endure such insanity…the only silver lining is great blogging material, as a friend has pointed out before.

If anyone happens to know of someone NORMAL needing a roommate (preferably) on the west side of downtown, at a reasonable rate, please let me know.  I’ll pretty much be out on my butt in 2 weeks.

Have you had any HORRIBLE roommate experiences? If so, what did you do to combat them?

How To Irritate Your Roommate…AGAIN!!

116 – NAG your roommate to death!!!

I came home earlier tonight and she came out of her room, and said she wasn’t sure if I’d actually cleaned the kitchen or the bathroom!!  I advised her that I had done it the night before.  She said because I hadn’t marked off her stupid check sheet, she couldn’t tell!  If she could smell ANYTHING, the kitchen still smells like Pine Sol, and the counters were clean!!!  I also told her I cleaned the bathroom, but she then asked about the sink, and so I went in to clean it, even though I’d done it over the weekend.  My anger may have come out on my twitter, asking about a cheap hitman and all, but as soon as I get a job, I’m O-U-T!!!!!  I haven’t been nagged this much by my own mother…EVER!!!

How To Irritate Your Roommate (Yup, It Continues)

If you’ve missed the previous installations of this “series” read them HERE

WARNING:  You WILL be grossed out!

112 – Put your roommate on Probation.

It’s not as easy as originally thought.  I might as well live with my mother!  I love you, Mom, but one of us would be driven clinically insane!

113 – Have a DISGUSTING kitchen

At least my mother doesn’t have this: Exhibit A

The inside of the freezer

Exhibit B

Inside the fridge

What are those black specks, you ask?  DEAD FLIES!!!!  I’ve learned I NEED to take a look in people’s fridges/freezers PRIOR to moving in.  Had I seen this, I think I would’ve looked elsewhere.

114 – Hound your roommate about not cleaning

After the above, she tells ME I don’t clean well!  I came in the door last night (after a long day, and on NO sleep), and the kitchen was not in tip-top condition (I thought I’d be home sooner and beat her in the door from her being gone since the day before), there were just some empty containers that needed to be thrown away, and trash needed to be taken out, really.  She started in the first minute about how I needed to clean the countertops, mop the floor, and then complained about my bathroom (also the guest bathroom)!!!  She told me I needed to remember to clean the toilet bowl.  I bit my tongue, those who know me would be proud!  I hurriedly cleaned, just to appease her.  She has also told me I need to keep my bedroom clean, of which the $400 I pay in rent should allow me some freedom of personal space.  I, however, did leave this dead one for her:

I clean that kitchen more than she does on a daily basis, so she can clean up the dead bugs, they were certainly residing here BEFORE I moved in.

115 – Don’t clean up after your dog

She’s got a white dog, and dark hardwood floors, so I understand dog hair will be much more evident, HOWEVER, the dog hair is in massive clumps, and it’s everywhere!!!!  I don’t even like walking around without shoes because my socks would be covered in hair.  I don’t use but the kitchen and my room/bathroom, so it’s all her when it comes to that.  Plus, I told her I refuse to be responsible for her dog whatsoever. Here’s a LOVELY example of the clumps that surround the dinner table, the living room, hallway, etc…