Dr. Seuss and IT

This is that you get when you cross Dr. Seuss and a technical manual(from Inbox Humor online):

If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,
And the bus is interrupted as a very last resort,
and the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort,
Then the socket packet pocket has an error to report!

If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,
And the double-clicking icons put your window in the trash,
And your data is corrupted ’cause the index doesn’t hash,
Then your situation’s hopeless, and your system’s gonna crash!

If the label on your cable on the gable at your house,
Says the network is connected to the button on your mouse,
But your packets want to tunnel to another protocol,
That’s repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall.

And your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss,
So your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse,
Then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang,
‘Cause as sure as I’m a poet, the sucker’s gonna hang!

When the copy of your floppy’s getting sloppy on the disk,
And the microcode instructions cause unnecessary RISC,
Then you have to flash your memory and you’ll want to RAM your ROM,
Quickly turn off your computer and be sure to tell your mom!

The Little Things…

I just hit 2, 500 views!!!!  This guy just hit 7,500 comments, but he’s probably more popular than the BEATLES in the blogging world LOL.  I’m excited just to have hit 2,500!!  Sad in comparison to a lot of bloggers, but it’s the little things that count, right?  I owe it to all the tagging, of which, I have no shame in tagging EVERYTHING, and finding random people to comment on their blogs 🙂  And the rest of the wonderful people that read my blog…I LOVE YOU ALL!!!!

Mark Your Calendars – September

September is . . . . Self Improvement Month, Be Kind To Editors and Writers Month, International Square Dance Month, Cable TV Month, National Bed Check Month, National Chicken Month, National Courtesy Month, National Honey Month, National Mind Mapping Month, National Piano Month, National Rice Month, National Papaya Month, and Classical Music Month

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September 1 is . . . . . Emma M. Nutt Day

September 2 is . . . . . National Beheading Day

September 3 is . . . . . Skyscraper Day

September 4 is . . . . . Newspaper Carrier Day

September 5 is . . . . . Be Late For Something Day (That’s everyday for me)

September 6 is . . . . . Fight Procrastination Day

September 7 is . . . . . Neither Rain Nor Snow Day (you know it’ll rain anyhow LOL)

September 8 is . . . . . National Date Nut Bread Day and Pardon Day

September 9 is . . . . . Teddy Bear Day

September 10 is . . . . Swap Ideas Day

September 11 is . . . . No News Is Good News Day

September 12 is . . . . National Pet Memorial Day and National Chocolate Milkshake Day

September 13 is . . . . Defy Superstition Day

September 14 is . . . . National Cream-filled Donut Day

September 15 is . . . . Felt Hat Day

September 16 is . . . . Stay Away From Seattle Day and Collect Rocks Day

September 17 is . . . . National Apple Dumpling Day

September 18 is . . . . National Play-doh Day

September 19 is . . . . National Butterscotch Pudding Day

September 20 is . . . . National Punch Day

September 21 is . . . . World Gratitude Day and International Banana Festival

September 22 is . . . . Hobbit Day and Dear Diary Day

September 23 is . . . . Checkers Day and Dogs In Politics Day

September 24 is . . . . Festival Of Latest Novelties

September 25 is . . . . National Comic Book Day

September 26 is . . . . National Good Neighbor Day and National Pancake Day

September 27 is . . . . Crush A Can Day

September 28 is . . . . Ask A Stupid Question Day

September 29 is . . . . Poisoned Blackberries Day

September 30 is . . . . National Mud Pack Day

Interviews Gone TERRIBLY Wrong!!!

This is a list I found from Inbox Humor about things NOT to say at an interview.  I can’t say I’ve done any of these, but these take the cake on craziness!  They asked executives from over 100 top American companies, and ended up with this list (I bolded my favorites):

• Said he was so well qualified [that] if he didn’t get the job, it would prove that the company’s management was incompetent.
• Stretched out on the floor to fill out the job application.
• Brought her large dog to the interview.
• Chewed bubble gum and constantly blew bubbles.
• Candidate kept giggling through serious interview.
• She wore a Walkman and said she could listen to the music and me at the same time.
• Balding candidate abruptly excused himself. Returned to office a few minutes later wearing a hairpiece.
• Applicant challenged interviewer to arm wrestle.
• Asked to see interviewer’s resume to see if the personnel executive was qualified to judge the candidate.
• Announced she hadn’t had lunch and proceeded to eat a hamburger and French fries in the interviewer’s office.
• Without saying a word, candidate stood up and walked out during the middle of the interview.
• Man wore jogging suit to interview for position as financial vice president.
• Said if he were hired, he would demonstrate his loyalty by having the corporate logo tattooed on his forearm.
• Interrupted to phone his therapist for advice on answering specific interview questions.
• Wouldn’t get out of the chair until I would hire him. I had to call the police.
• When I asked him about his hobbies, he stood up and started tap dancing around my office.
• Had a little pinball game and challenged me to play with him.
• Bounced up and down on my carpet and told me I must be highly thought of by the company because I was given such a thick carpet.
• Took a brush out of my purse, brushed his hair and left.
• Pulled out a Polaroid camera and snapped a flash picture of me. Said he collected photos of everyone who interviewed him.
• Candidate asked me if I would put on a suit jacket to insure that the offer was formal.
• Said he wasn’t interested because the position paid too much.
• While I was on a long-distance phone call, the applicant took out a copy of Penthouse, and looked through the photos only, stopping longest at the centerfold.
• During the interview, an alarm clock went off from the candidate’s briefcase. He took it out, shut it off, apologized and said he had to leave for another interview.
• A telephone call came in for the job applicant. It was from his wife. His side of the conversation went like this: “Which company? When do I start? What’s the salary?” I said, “I assume you’re not interested in conducting the interview any further.” He promptly responded, “I am as long as you’ll pay me more.” I didn’t hire him, but later found out there was no other job offer. It was a scam to get a higher offer.
• An applicant came in wearing only one shoe. She explained that the other shoe was stolen off her foot in the bus.
• His attache [case] opened when he picked it up and the contents spilled, revealing ladies’ undergarments and assorted makeup and perfume.
• He came to the interview with a moped and left it in the reception area. He didn’t want it to get stolen, and stated that he would require indoor parking for the moped.
• He took off his right shoe and sock, opened a medicated foot powder and dusted it on the foot and in the shoe. While he was putting back the shoe and sock, he mentioned that he had to use the powder four times a day, and this was the time.
• Candidate said he really didn’t want to get a job, but the unemployment office needed proof that he was looking for one.
• He whistled when the interviewer was talking.
• Asked who the lovely babe was, pointing to the picture on my desk. When I said it was my wife, he asked if she was home now and wanted my phone number. I called security.
• She threw up on my desk, and immediately started asking questions about the job, like nothing had happened.
• Pointing to a black case he carried into my office, he said that if he was not hired, the bomb would go off. Disbelieving, I began to state why he would never be hired and that I was going to call the police. He then reached down to the case, flipped a switch and ran. No one was injured, but I did need to get a new desk.
• Asked if I wanted some cocaine before starting the interview.

What Your Sleep Style Says About You

Something kind of random, and something no one ever really thinks about…

How do you sleep???  What does it say about you??

There are six common sleeping positions – each is linked to a particular personality type.

Foetus

Those who curl up in the foetus position are described as tough on the outside but sensitive at heart. They may be shy when they first meet somebody, but soon relax. This is the most common sleeping position, adopted by 41% of the 1,000 people who took part in the survey. More than twice as many women as men tend to adopt this position.

Log

Lying on your side with both arms down by your side. These sleepers are easy going, social people who like being part of the in-crowd, and who are trusting of strangers. However, they may be gullible.

Yearner

People who sleep on their side with both arms out in front are said to have an open nature, but can be suspicious, cynical. They are slow to make up their minds, but once they have taken a decision, they are unlikely ever to change it.

Soldier

Lying on your back with both arms pinned to your sides. People who sleep in this position are generally quiet and reserved. They don’t like a fuss, but set themselves and others high standards.

Freefall

Lying on your front with your hands around the pillow, and your head turned to one side. Often gregarious and brash people, but can be nervy and thin-skinned underneath, and don’t like criticism, or extreme situations.

Starfish

Lying on your back with both arms up around the pillow. These sleepers make good friends because they are always ready to listen to others, and offer help when needed. They generally don’t like to be the centre of attention.

The remainder of those in the poll said the position they fell asleep varied or did not know.

They also examined the effect of various sleeping positions on health. He concluded that the freefall position was good for digestion, while the starfish and soldier positions were more likely to lead to snoring and a bad night’s sleep.

“Lying down flat means that stomach contents can more readily be worked back up into the mouth, while those who lie on their back may end up snoring and breathing less well during the night. “Both these postures may not necessarily awaken the sleeper but could cause a less refreshing night’s sleep.”

The research also found that most people are unlikely to change their sleeping position. Just 5% said they sleep in a different position every night.

I think I’m a combination of the Log and the Freefall position, so who knows!  They seem to fit my personality

What’s your sleeping style????

I AM a Christian

I stole this poem off of this girl's blog, but I couldn't resist!  

WHEN I SAY, "I AM A CHRISTIAN"

When I say, "I am a Christian"
I'm not shouting, "I’ve been saved!"
I'm whispering, "I get lost!
That's why I chose this way"

When I say, "I am a Christian"
I don't speak with human pride
I'm confessing that I stumble—
Needing God to be my guide

When I say, "I am a Christian"
I'm not trying to be strong
I'm professing that I'm weak
And pray for strength to carry on

When I say, "I am a Christian"
I'm not bragging of success
I'm admitting that I've failed
And cannot ever pay the debt

When I say, "I am a Christian"
I don't think I know it all
I submit to my confusion
Asking humbly to be taught

When I say, "I am a Christian"
I'm not claiming to be perfect
My flaws are all too visible
But God believes I'm worth it

When I say, "I am a Christian"
I still feel the sting of pain
I have my share of heartache,
Which is why I seek His name

When I say, "I am a Christian"
I do not wish to judge
I have no authority...
I only know I'm loved

The Apprentice: UK style

i had no idea they had a British version of The Apprentice, until I saw it on CNBC.  I love this show, it’s pretty educational, if you’re trying to make it in the business world, usually a good idea of what NOT to do, but it makes you realize not every businessperson is the sharpest tool in the shed!

Here’s a little clip…

Shopping via the Television

I’m outing myself…as a QVC SHOPPER!!!!!

I can hear the gasps now!!

Yes, you read right, I like shopping on QVC!  QVC, you’d think, is usually for the homebound or the elderly, but I, yes I, LIKE it! Don’t knock it till you’ve tried it!  It’s not as bad as you think!

I got hooked, one winter, when I had a cast on my foot, and couldn’t go shopping for Christmas presents.  My grandmother ALWAYS buys our gifts from QVC, and if she could have bought her house off of there, she would have, so I figured it’s gotta be an alright thing to use.   If you look close at her TV, you’ll see the imprint of QVC’s phone number in her TV, she watches it so much!

I’ve bought purses (The Sak is my fav), make-up (Smashbox has the BEST eye liner, and Bare Escentuals has a special place in my heart), sheets (Northern Nights high thread count sheets ROCK), jewelry, and even perfume (LOVE LOVE LOVE Philosophy’s Falling in Love).    Perfume and Make-up are the last things you would think you’d buy from television, HOWEVER, it usually is cheaper, and if you don’t like it, you can send it back, and they’ll refund your money, including shipping and handling, well, last time I checked, it was.  I once returned a pair of boots, that were really cute, but should’ve known my “grossly abnormal” feet wouldn’t fit!  I LOVE watching their make-up shows, you always learn new tips and techniques, and you’re able to see how a, say, lipstick color would look on different skin tones.  So there you have it!  My confession for today!

Your turn…

Out yourself, what’s one of your confessions, that you may not tell everyone you meet?

Would You Rather…

be able to fortell the future, or
have all the money you will every need?

be able to stop time while you slept, or
never need to do laundry?

be able to bring about a lasting world peace, or
eliminate all hunger and disease?

be able to fly, or
have the ability to read people’s minds?

Alabama’s State Employee Fat Tax

Alabama has now decided, in 2011, that they will impose a tax on overweight state employees, of $25/month. They already have a tax on smoking, which, I am not a smoker, never have been, never will be, but it’s an alright tax by me, people can stop smoking if they need to. Losing weight, on the other hand is A LOT more difficult. I’m not sure how I’d feel, if I received an ultimatum like this.

Read the article, and let me know what you think