Tag Archive: chocolate


Common Sense Rules For Holiday Eating

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they’re serving rum balls.
2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine single-malt scotch, it’s rare. In fact, it’s even rarer than single-malt scotch. You can’t find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It’s not as if you’re going to turn into an eggnog-alcoholic or  something. It’s a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It’s later than you think. It’s Christmas!
3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That’s the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes.   Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.
4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they’re made with skim milk or whole milk. If it’s skim, pass. Why bother? It’s like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.
5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people’s food for free. Lots of it. Hello?
6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year’s. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long  naps, which you’ll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.
7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don’t budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They’re like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you’re never going to see them again.
8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or if you don’t like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?
9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it’s loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.
10. One final tip: If you don’t feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven’t been paying attention. Re-read tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.
Remember this motto to live by:
“Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming “WOO HOO what a ride!”
Have a great holiday season!

December is . . . . Hi Neighbor Month, National Stress Free Family Holiday Month, Bingo’s Birthday Month, and Read A New Book Month


December 1 is . . . . . National Pie Day and Eat A Red Apple Day

December 2 is . . . . . National Fritters Day

December 3 is . . . . . National Roof-Over-Your-Head Day

December 4 is . . . . . Wear Brown Shoes Day

December 5 is . . . . . National Sacher Torte Day, and No Gays For A Day Day

December 6 is . . . . . National Gazpacho Day and Mitten Tree Day

December 7 is . . . . . National Cotton Candy Day

December 8 is . . . . . Take It In The Ear Day

December 9 is . . . . . National Pastry Day

December 10 is . . . . Festival For The Souls Of Dead Whales

December 11 is . . . . National Noodle Ring Day

December 12 is . . . . National Ding-A-Ling Day

December 13 is . . . . Ice Cream and Violins Day

December 14 is . . . . National Bouillabaisse Day

December 15 is . . . . National Lemon Cupcake Day

December 16 is . . . . National Chocolate Covered Anything Day 

December 17 is . . . . Underdog Day and National Maple Syrup Day

December 18 is . . . . National Roast Suckling Pig Day

December 19 is . . . . Oatmeal Muffin Day

December 20 is . . . . Games Day

December 21 is . . . . Look At The Bright Side Day, National Flashlight Day, National French Fried Shrimp Day, and Hamburger Day

December 22 is . . . . National Date-Nut Bread Day

December 23 is . . . . Roots Day

December 24 is . . . . National Egg Nog Day

December 25 is . . . . National Pumpkin Pie Day

December 26 is . . . . National Whiners Day

December 27 is . . . . National Fruitcake Day

December 28 is . . . . Card Playing Day and National Chocolate Day

December 29 is . . . . Pepper Pot Day

December 30 is . . . . Festival Of Enormous Changes At The Last Minute and National Bicarbonate Of Soda Day

December 31 is . . . . Unlucky Day

November is . . . . International Drum Month, Peanut Butter Lover’s Month, and Slaughter Month


November 1 is . . . . . Plan Your Epitaph (what’s said on your gravestone) Day

November 2 is . . . . . National Deviled Egg Day

November 3 is . . . . . Sandwich Day and Housewife’s Day

November 4 is . . . . . Waiting For The Barbarians Day

November 5 is . . . . . Gunpowder Day

November 6 is . . . . . Saxophone Day and Marooned Without A Compass Day

November 7 is . . . . . National Bittersweet Chocolate With Almonds Day

November 8 is . . . . . Dunce Day

November 9 is . . . . . Chaos Never Dies Day

November 10 is . . . . Forget-Me-Not Day

November 11 is . . . . Air Day

November 12 is . . . . National Pizza With The Works Except Anchovies Day

November 13 is . . . . National Indian Pudding Day

November 14 is . . . . Operation Room Nurse Day

November 15 is . . . . National Clean Out Your Refrigerator Day

November 16 is . . . . Button Day

November 17 is . . . . Take A Hike Day

November 18 is . . . . Occult Day

November 19 is . . . . Have A Bad Day Day

November 20 is . . . . Absurdity Day

November 21 is . . . . World Hello Day and False Confessions Day

November 22 is . . . . Start Your Own Country Day

November 23 is . . . . National Cashew Day

November 24 is . . . . Use Even If Seal Is Broken Day

November 25 is . . . . National Parfait Day

November 26 is . . . . Shopping Reminder Day

November 27 is . . . . Pins And Needles Day

November 28 is . . . . Make Your Own Head Day

November 29 is . . . . Square Dance Day

November 30 is . . . . Stay At Home Because You’re Well Day

Mark Your Calendars – October

October is . . . . Adopt-A-Dog Month, Computer Learning Month, National Apple Jack Month, National Car Care Month, National Clock Month, National Cosmetology Month, National Dessert Month, National Pickled Pepper Month, National Popcorn Poppin’ Month, National Pretzel Month, National Sarcastics Month, National Seafood Month, National Kitchen and Bath Month, and Vegetarian Awareness Month


October 1 is . . . . . World Vegetarian Day and Magic Circles Day

October 2 is . . . . . Name Your Car Day

October 3 is . . . . . Virus Appreciation Day

October 4 is . . . . . National Golf Day

October 5 is . . . . . National Storytelling Festival

October 6 is . . . . . German-American Day and Come and Take It Day

October 7 is . . . . . National Frappe Day

October 8 is . . . . . American Tag Day

October 9 is . . . . . Moldy Cheese Day

October 10 is . . . . National Angel Food Cake Day

October 11 is . . . . It’s My Party Day

October 12 is . . . . International Moment Of Frustration Scream Day

October 13 is . . . . National Peanut Festival

October 14 is . . . . Be Bald and Free Day and National Dessert Day

October 15 is . . . . White Cane Safety Day

October 16 is . . . . Dictionary Day

October 17 is . . . . Gaudy Day

October 18 is . . . . No Beard Day

October 19 is . . . . Evaluate Your Life Day

October 20 is . . . . National Brandied Fruit Day

October 21 is . . . . Babbling Day

October 22 is . . . . National Nut Day

October 23 is . . . . National Mole Day

October 24 is . . . . National Bologna Day

October 25 is . . . . Punk For A Day Day

October 26 is . . . . Mule Day

October 27 is . . . . Sylvia Plath Day

October 28 is . . . . Plush Animal Lover’s Day and National Chocolate Day

October 29 is . . . . Hermit Day

October 30 is . . . . National Candy Corn Day

October 31 is . . . . National Magic Day and Increase Your Pyschic Powers Day

The A to Z of Me

A. Attached or single? Single

B. Best Friend? Sheila

C. Cake or pie? Cake

D. Day of Choice? Tuesday

E. Essential Item? cell phone, feel naked without it

F. Favourite Color? I like purples, pinks, and teals

G. Gummy bears or worms? Bears

H. Hometown? Grand Blanc, Michigan

I. Favourite Indulgance? Chocolate

J. January or July. July

K. Kids? nope, MAYBE at some point in my life, but not anytime soon, gotta get a husband first 🙂

L. Life isn’t complete without? My friends and family

M. Marriage Date? Wouldn’t know, but there better be plenty of them when I am married (even if they’re really low-key)

N. Numbers of brothers and sisters. One younger brother

O. Orange or Apples? Apples

P. Phobias? Snakes

Q. Quotes? I like these

R. Reasons to smile? the fact I’m alive…better than the alternative

S. Season of choice? Fall

T. Tag 5 People? Whoever wants to!

U. Unknown fact about me? Here’s a few

V. Vegetable? Brussel Sprouts

W. Worst Habit? I swear

X. X-ray or Ultrasound? Neither

Y. Your favourite food? Chinese and Mexican

Z. Zodiac Sign? Aquarius