Since my hard drive died a few weeks back, I’ve had to transfer all my music to my itunes for my ipod, and in the process, I came across an album I’d had for about a decade.  It’s by an Aussie band called Bachelor Girl, of which, it doesn’t appear that they are still a band, but they’re still good!  Anyways, the song is called “Permission to Shine”, and the lyrics just struck a cord with me:

Hey, what would you say
If I can’t play the hero tonight
Cos lately I’ve been feelin’ like
I can’t get anything right

I’ve been fading into the woodwork again
And I’m feelin’ like I just wanna hide
But guess what
I’m gonna try something just a little bit different this time

I’m gonna give myself permission to shine
I’m gonna shine so bright
Gonna make every head wanna turn
You’re finally gonna see me
Give myself permission to shine
Gonna light up the night
Shine a little of my light on the world

I’ve been crazy
I’ve been holdin’ myself back for so long
But I’ve got so much I can give
Don’t wanna be afraid to be wrong

You know I’m not too good at too many things
But I’ve been gettin’ real good at gettin’ down on myself
But guess what
I’m gonna try to break free from this prison I”ve built

I’m gonna give myself permission to shine
I’m gonna shine so bright
Gonna make every head wanna turn
You’re finally gonna see me
Give myself permission to shine
Gonna light up the night
Shine a little of my light on the world
shine a little of my light on the world
shine a little of my light on the world
shine shine shine

Oh, that’s right
I’m gonna try something just a little bit different this time

I’m gonna give myself permission to shine
I’m gonna shine so bright
Gonna make every head wanna turn
You’re finally gonna see me
Give myself permission to shine
Gonna light up the night
Shine a little of my light on the world

(Give myself permission to shine)
I wanna light up the night
Shine a little of my light on the world

This made me realize that I haven’t been giving myself permission to shine, I feel like I can’t!  When meeting people, I dread the question “what is it you do?”  I feel like as soon as I suggest unemployment, people automatically assume the worst of me.  I never realized how that question ALWAYS comes up in conversation, as if it automatically defines who you are as a person.  I seriously make a conscious effort to avoid asking that question, because I don’t want to be asked it.  I know I’m a great person, and really try not to let people influence my self-confidence, but it does!  I’ve apparently been giving permission to feel inferior, and that’s certainly not how I want to be, but when your life is NOWHERE near the course you thought it would take, it’s so hard not to be discouraged! I think the song is a great reminder that NO ONE determines the way we feel about ourselves, but us!

Do you give yourself permission to shine? If not, what’s holding you back?

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