Mark Your Calendars – January

January is . . . . National Careers in Cosmetology Month, National Eye Health Care Month, National Fiber Focus Month, National Hobby Month, National Soup Month, Hot Tea Month, Oatmeal Month, Prune Breakfast Month

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January 1 is . . . . .First Foot Day and Z Day (holiday that can be celebrated by letting all those poor unfortunate people with names that start with Z be first in line)

January 2 is . . . . .Run Up the Flagpole and See if Anybody Salutes It Day

January 3 is . . . . .Festival of Sleep Day

January 4 is . . . . .Trivia Day and Humiliation Day

January 5 is . . . . .Bird Day

January 6 is . . . . .Bean Day

January 7 is . . . . .Old Rock Day

January 8 is . . . . .National JoyGerm Day and Man Watcher’s Day

January 9 is . . . . . Play God Day

January 10 is . . . . Peculiar People Day

January 11 is . . . . National Step in a Puddle and Splash Your Friend Day

January 12 is . . . . Feast of Fabulous Wild Men Day

January 13 is . . . . Make Your Dream Come True Day and Blame Someone Else Day

January 14 is . . . . National Dress Up Your Pet Day

January 15 is . . . . Hat Day

January 16 is . . . . Hot and Spicy Food International Day and National Nothing Day

January 17 is . . . . Blessing of the Animals at the Cathedral Day

January 18 is . . . . Winnie the Pooh Day

January 19 is . . . . National Popcorn Day

January 20 is . . . . National Buttercrunch Day

January 21 is . . . . National Hugging Day

January 22 is . . . . National Answer Your Cat’s Question Day and National Blonde Brownie Day

January 23 is . . . . National Handwriting Day, National Pie Day, and Measure Your Feet Day

January 24 is . . . . Eskimo Pie Patent Day

January 25 is . . . . Opposite Day

January 26 is . . . . Australia Day

January 27 is . . . . Punch the Clock Day and Thomas Crapper Day (Thomas Crapper invented the flushing toilet)

January 28 is . . . . National Kazoo Day, Clash Day, Rattle Snake Round-Up Day

January 29 is . . . . National Cornchip Day

January 30 is . . . . Escape Day

January 31 is . . . . National Popcorn Day and Child Labor Day

Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff!

I received this in my inbox today, and thought it was worth sharing:

IF I HAD MY LIFE TO LIVE OVER – by Erma Bombeck
(written after she found out she was dying from cancer).

I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would
Go into a holding pattern if I weren’t there for the day.

I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.

I would have talked less and listened more.

I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained, or the sofa faded.

I would have eaten the popcorn in the ‘good’ living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.

I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.

I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband.

I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day
Because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.

I would have sat on the lawn with my grass stains.

I would have cried and laughed less while watching television
And more while watching life.

I would never have bought anything just because it was practical,

Wouldn’t show soil, or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.

Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy,
I’d have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment
Growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.

When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, ‘Later.
Now go get washed up for dinner.’ There would have been more ‘I love you’s’ More ‘I’m sorry’s.’

But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute.look at it and really see it . Live it and never give it back. STOP SWEATING THE SMALL STUFF!!!

Don’t worry about who doesn’t like you, who has more, or who’s doing what
Instead, let’s cherish the relationships we have with those who do love us.

If GOD Had Voicemail

Heard this yesterday in church, thought you may all love a good chuckle!

What if God decided to install voice mail?

Imagine praying and hearing this:

• Press 1 for English
• Press 2 for Spanish
• Press 3 for any other language
  

Thank you for calling My Father’s House. Please select one of the following options:

• Press 1 for GENERAL REQUESTS
• Press 2 for THANKSGIVING
• Press 3 for COMPLAINTS
• Press 4 for HEALING
• Press 5 for HELP WITH THE IRS
• Press 6 for RAIN
• Press 7 for “JUST SAYING HI!”
• Press 8 for LOTTERY WINNING NUMBERS (good luck; we just guess, too)
• Press 9 for ALL OTHER INQUIRIES
• Press 0 for this to begin again

What if God used these familiar excuses:

• “I’m sorry, all the angels are helping other customers right now.
• Please stay on the line. Your call is important to us and will be answered in the order it was received.”

Can you imagine getting these kinds of responses as you call God in prayer?

• “If you would like to speak to Gabriel, Press 11.
• For Michael, Press 22.
• For a directory of other Archangels, Press 33.”
• For a directory of Seraphim and Cherubim, Press 44.
• If you’d like to hear King David sing a Psalm while you are holding, please press 55, and then wait for the beep, and then enter the number of the Psalm.
• To find out if a loved one has been assigned to Heaven, press 66, enter his/her social security number, then press the pound (#) key, then enter date of birth, then press the pound (#) key twice.If you received a negative answer, hang up and dial 666.
• For reservations in one of the Many Mansions, press the letters J-O-H-N, then 3-1-6.
• For answers to nagging questions about dinosaurs, the age of the earth, where Noah’s Ark is, Darwin, Hitler, the Pope, abortion, and UFO’s; please wait until you arrive here. Those questions can be understood only from a “heavenly perspective.”
• Our computers show that you have already called once today. Please hang up and try again tomorrow.
• This office is closed for the weekend. Please call again on Monday after 9:30am, but before 4:30 ACST (Absolute Celestial Standard Time).
• Please call again soon, but never on Sunday. That is OUR day of rest.

Two-Timing is Hard To Do!

 

I have a dilemma, a commitment issue of sorts!  I am sick of being a two-timing church goer!  It gets exhausting going to two different churches on Sundays and I just don’t know what to do!  I go to Cross Point Community Church, and TrueLife Church. 

Crosspoint is HUGE compared to Truelife, which was just started about a year ago (I’m not sure we’ve ever hit 40 attendees).  I LOVE meeting new people, so Crosspoint is great for that, but then again, I don’t want to be just another body there, because I haven’t been attending there for that long.  I’ve met some WONDERFUL people, including Deb, Amanda, and the other ladies in Wendy’s small group, which make me feel less like that, but I really haven’t had much interaction with the ministry there (and I know I’ve been trying to meet Jenni Catron, but I guess I just have bad timing).  At Truelife, because it’s small, I know Pastor Phil and followed him from his previous church, and his wife, Katie, is one of my best friends.  Sadly, it hasn’t been growing in attendance like originally hoped, and as much as I like knowing everyone there, I like the idea of meeting new people, and that doesn’t really offer me that opportunity.  Both churches have good worship music, and leave me with better perspective on my relationship with God, or lack thereof, in some cases.  I just don’t know what to do!  I’d like to pick one, and be able to put more energy into it, but I’m so confused!  Between two services on Sunday’s and various other meetings and bible studies throughout the week, it takes its toll.  I, honestly, two years ago, would’ve NEVER thought this would be an issue because, up until about a year and a half ago, I RARELY even went to church since I was 11 years-old, but I’m learning I’m just too indecisive! 

What should I do, is it wierd be a member of two churches???  I actually haven’t officially become members to either church.  HELP!

I AM a Christian

I stole this poem off of this girl's blog, but I couldn't resist!  

WHEN I SAY, "I AM A CHRISTIAN"

When I say, "I am a Christian"
I'm not shouting, "I’ve been saved!"
I'm whispering, "I get lost!
That's why I chose this way"

When I say, "I am a Christian"
I don't speak with human pride
I'm confessing that I stumble—
Needing God to be my guide

When I say, "I am a Christian"
I'm not trying to be strong
I'm professing that I'm weak
And pray for strength to carry on

When I say, "I am a Christian"
I'm not bragging of success
I'm admitting that I've failed
And cannot ever pay the debt

When I say, "I am a Christian"
I don't think I know it all
I submit to my confusion
Asking humbly to be taught

When I say, "I am a Christian"
I'm not claiming to be perfect
My flaws are all too visible
But God believes I'm worth it

When I say, "I am a Christian"
I still feel the sting of pain
I have my share of heartache,
Which is why I seek His name

When I say, "I am a Christian"
I do not wish to judge
I have no authority...
I only know I'm loved

Why Cant I?

…have the dream job???

…have the man of my dreams???

…be who I want to be???

I just don’t know what it is about me that I feel like such a failure! I’ve lived a charmed life, I’ll admit that, I’ve been extremely fortunate to have never had to go hungry growing up, and to have had the luxury of living overseas and traveling the world, and for that, I am soooo thankful, but why is it I feel like nothing in my life is working, or going the way I thought it was supposed to??? I went to college, I’m incredibly smart and am charming, why can’t I find a job, let alone that dream job, where I would ENJOY what I do???? I’m a pretty cool person (if you ask me, and I’m sure others would agree), why can’t I find a good guy??? Do I just repulse the whole male gender???? And he doesn’t even have to be a Keith Urban look-alike, I’ll take any guy who has a good heart and sense of humor! I just feel so out of touch with the real world, like I can’t really relate to people so much, no job, no husbands or significant others, and it’s really frustrating!!!!!! I haven’t even come clean with my father about my not having a job, and that’s killing me! He should be calling me tomorrow, so I’ll be telling him then, but I’m afraid what he’s going to think if I’ve held it from him for this long! I just don’t want to disappoint him…yet again! These last few months have really sucked, for lack of a better word, and I’m so fed up with it! I’ve tried praying, doesn’t seem to work, but as I’ve been told, things happen in God’s time, but can he move it along…puh-lease!!!!! My patience is wearing a little thin these days!

I Got Work To Do!

So our sermon today @ Truelife was about prayer, he says a lot of us are doing it all wrong, I must say, I know I am!!!! Phil (the pastor) explained that it’s all about God changing us, not us changing Him, and getting him to do as we ask. I, like a lot of people, have always believed prayer was just speaking with God. He also said people, on average, only pray for 5 minutes a week, he asked what kind of relationship would you have with your spouse if you only talked to them 5 minutes a week??? Heck, I only pray when others are doing it, church and bible study are pretty much it…I’ve been going to church twice on Sunday’s (different churches, of course), but I know it’s not a much better. Even pastors only really pray a little bit more (probably because they have numerous sermons a week to preach ) I definitely need to work on it! If you look up prayer, it is defined as: a devout petition to God or an object of worship, a spiritual communion with God or an object of worship, as in supplication, thanksgiving, adoration, or confession.  I admit, I don’t know what to say!!!!

Any ideas on what to say, or how to make it a little easier? it seems kind of intimidating. If I were asked to pray in front of a group of people, I wouldn’t know what to say, or would be scared to death that I would say the wrong thing and be humiliated!

The Grim Job Market!!!!

Man, I wish I had a job, it’s been about 5 weeks since losing 2 jobs in a week and I was smart enough to have money saved up, however, if I don’t find something soon, we may need to look to other options (selling kidneys, standing on street corners, etc) won’t be pretty!!!!  My friend and I were going to go take a test to work for the state today (she’s in the same boat), but my friend, Katie, ran off with my keys accidentally last night, so I’m stuck, and Sarah HATES driving around downtown, and I am not driving her car!  So, tomorrow, I have an interview for a job in Cool Springs (not a dream job by any means, but a source of what could be good income) and so we’ll see, I keep applying, but it’s getting incredibly frustrating!  Oh well, I guess it’s kind of in God’s hands now, so we shall hope, AND PRAY!!!!!!

Unbelievable

U.S. soldier uses Quran for target practice; military apologizes

I must say, this has to be one of the most disrespectful things anyone could do, how dare someone go to another country and have the audacity to use their holy book as target practice! I am not Muslim, obviously, but how would you feel if someone of another faith came over and shot up a Bible????? The Korans look just like our bibles, as far as the size and types of coverings, there’s no excuse to not knowing it was the Koran!! I just think it sets a horrible impression of Americans, especially when we’re over there trying to help, yet this is an awful setback for all their hard work. The Muslim culture is VERY different than ours, and rather than learning and accepting it as a way of life for some people, many would just rather judge! When living overseas, especially in Egypt, which is primarily Muslim, I sometimes felt embarrassed because it was as if we came to their home, and acted as if they needed to cater to us, and the ways we are used to living, and that’s not how it’s supposed to be at all. I think, many a times, we forget we are guests there, and should be respectful of other people’s cultures, regardless where we are, but ESPECIALLY when we’re guests in their country! For those of you who aren’t familiar with Islam, here’s the rundown:

God is Allah

Prophet is Mohammed

Pillars of Islam:

1. Faith – Believe Allah is the one and only God
2. Prayer – Must Pray 5 times a day, which is why the call of prayer goes off so much
3. Fast – Annually, during Ramadan, it’s about a month’s time, and they fast from sun-up to sundown, no water, and they must abstain from sexual relations w/ their spouses as well (which I didn’t know until now, but i guess they wouldn’t tell you that in middle school)
4. Pilgrimage – All Muslims must make at least one pilgrimage (hajj) in their lifetime to Mecca (in Saudi Arabia)
5. Giving Alms – Every Muslim has a financial obligation, but is dependent on the individual.

Now, a lot of people are aware they (the men) are polygamists, and they are, however, their reasoning for this is that by having so many wives (4 max), they are guaranteed to have a male heir. What most outsiders don’t realize is that they all MUST be treated equally, so if he buys one wife a diamond ring, they all get a diamond ring, so there is no special treatment, or at least, there’s not supposed to be.

Islam isn’t for me, but it really isn’t as bad as a lot of people make it out to be…And just like any religion, there are the extremists, who will take it a whole lot further, but that’s why they’re called fundamentalists!

THE POSITIVE SIDE OF LIFE

I got this in my email awhile back…thought it was cute! Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun every year. How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you’re on. Birthdays are good for you; the more you have, the longer you live. Happiness comes through doors you didn’t even know you left open. Ever notice that the people who are late are often much jollier than the people who have to wait for them? Most of us go to our grave with our music still inside of us. If Wal-Mart is lowering prices every day, how come nothing is free yet? You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person. Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once. Don’t cry because it’s over; smile because it happened. We could learn a lot from crayons: some are sharp, some are pretty, some are dull, some have weird names, and all are different colors….but they all exist very nicely in the same box. A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour. Have an awesome day, and know that someone who thinks you’re great has thought about you today!.. “And that person was me.”….. Please don’t keep this message to yourself…..send it to those who mean so much to you…. “NOW”.. Working for God on earth does not pay much, but His Retirement plan is out of this world.