You may remember a post where I had said I’d live in Australia, if I could live anywhere, well I came across a website that compiled all the idiotic things foreigners have asked about Australia, they’re quite amusing!
Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I’ve never seen it rain on TV. How do your plants grow? (UK)
A: We import all of our plants fully grown and then sit around watching them die.
Q: My wife and I enjoy walking tours. How long will it take us to get from Perth to Sydney on foot? (Canada)
A: How long did it take you to do your last 4,000 kilometre walk? Bring a bottle of water.
Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? If so, can you send me a list of all of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?
Q: What is the weather like in Vienna in May? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y.
Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney, and is milk available year-round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful nation of vegan hunters and gatherers. Milk is illegal.
Q: Are the rattlesnakes in Melbourne deadly? Do you sell anti-venom at the grocery store? (USA)
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-mer-i-ca, which is where you come from. Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make great pets.
Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? If so, when? (France)
A: Occasionally, and if so than during our Christmas annual leave.
Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go in Australia? (USA)
A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.
Some guy then added what he’d been asked about Canada:
I live in Canada and I’ve been asked questions like:
Q: “Do you live in an igloo?”
A: Only in winter. In summer we build houses from the trees.
Q: “Are there any cars where you come from?”
A: Cars were sooooo 1989. We have gliders. You know… like The Jetsons did.
Q: “Does maple syrup really come from trees?”
A: “Yes. Once a year, every Candian picks one maple tree and squeeze it very hard while talking nicely to it. We do this for about an hour until you have convinced the tree to give up it’s bodily fluids.”
Q: “Does the sun ever shine over there?”
A: “Only if we dance around naked circling a pack of beavers singing: eh? eh? eh? eh?, over and over again. We don’t get much sun.
And many more… I don’t think the Americans know that southern Canda is just a little to the north of New York and Washington. Oh well…
Now, I remember when I moved to Egypt for the first time (at age 11, mind you) , thinking we would be living in pyramids and riding camels everywhere, however, I then realized my dad worked for a car company, I guess it’s a little more evolved than people walking like Egyptians!!!!
